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Sign Up For The Online Anger Course
When the judge or your spouse or your boss says you need to get into an anger
management program and change now, the last thing you want to do is spend
the next 2 months going to anger management meetings once a week and listen to
some guy lecture you on how to straighten out your head. With your marriage or
your job on the line - not to mention a possible trip to jail - you want to
get
started immediately, so you can fix what needs to be fixed and get on
with your life.
That is the beauty of the our
Online Anger Management Class &
Online Anger Management Courses - you can
get
started today! For one low price, you will have three (3) months
access to your Online Course so that can move at your own pace without being
held back by a class-full of people you don't have a thing in common with except
the need to get your Anger Certificate and to get your anger problems
under control. With our online anger courses, you can cut through the red tape
and get right down to business. The sooner you start and the harder you work,
the quicker you will begin to make progress and get your life back.
Those
who have already completed this practical and powerful online course tell us it
not only fulfills their court-mandated anger management requirement, it also
REALLY WORKS! They have been able to improve the way they deal with anger, and
it has made a big difference in their relationships with their spouses, friends
and coworkers. It is also fast and easy to do!
Our
Online Anger Busting Anger Management Course is the most thorough and
comprehensive programs of its kind. Everything you need to help you begin to
CHANGE NOW is included. You can do the lessons from your computer in the comfort
and privacy of your own home, accessing the online course material one lesson at
a time using passwords we provide for you after you have paid for the and
registered for the Online Class. All you have to supply is the courage and
discipline to do the lessons, and then faithfully practice what you learn. When
you have completed all 24 lessons and quizzes, you will receive a certificate of
completion you can present to the court which has been signed by the bestselling
author of the Anger Busting Workbook, James A. Baker.
Click here for information
on how to register for the Online Anger Busting Anger™ Management Course using a
major credit card. The fee is only $65 and signing up is easy so you can get
started today! You also receive a free copy of James A. Baker's Best Selling
Book "The Anger Busting Workbook" which you will receive within three to four
business days after signing up. You do not need the workbook to take the online
class or to receive the Online Anger Management Certificate of Completion.
Please Note:
In order to maintain our affordable pricing:
- Live support is NOT included with the online courses.
- Live support is available at an additional cost but you probably won't
need any.
- Save time & money by referring to our FAQ
for course assistance.
Good luck as you begin your Online Anger Managment road to recovery.
Sincerely,
James A. (Jim) Baker
Anger in the Workplace:
Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You
TOPICS:
What Is Anger?
Anger Management
Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay?
Do You Need Counseling?
We all know what anger is, and we've all felt
it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as
full-fledged rage.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy,
human emotion. But when it gets out of control
and turns destructive, it can lead to
problems—problems at work, in your personal
relationships, and in the overall quality of
your life. And it can make you feel as though
you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and
powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to
help you understand and control anger.
What is Anger?
The Nature of Anger
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in
intensity from mild irritation to intense fury
and rage," according to Charles Spielberger,
PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the
study of anger. Like other emotions, it is
accompanied by physiological and biological
changes; when you get angry, your heart rate
and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of
your energy hormones, adrenaline, and
noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and
internal events. You could be angry at a
specific person (Such as a coworker or
supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled
flight), or your anger could be caused by
worrying or brooding about your personal
problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging
events can also trigger angry feelings.
Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger
is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural,
adaptive response to threats; it inspires
powerful, often aggressive, feelings and
behaviors, which allow us to fight and to
defend ourselves when we are attacked. A
certain amount of anger, therefore, is
necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out
at every person or object that irritates or
annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense
place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and
unconscious processes to deal with their angry
feelings. The three main approaches are
expressing, suppressing, and calming.
Expressing your angry feelings in an
assertive—not aggressive—manner is the
healthiest way to express anger. To do this,
you have to learn how to make clear what your
needs are, and how to get them met, without
hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean
being pushy or demanding; it means being
respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or
redirected. This happens when you hold in your
anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on
something positive. The aim is to inhibit or
suppress your anger and convert it into more
constructive behavior. The danger in this type
of response is that if it isn't allowed outward
expression, your anger can turn inward—on
yourself. Anger turned inward may cause
hypertension, high blood pressure, or
depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It
can lead to pathological expressions of anger,
such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting
back at people indirectly, without telling them
why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a
personality that seems perpetually cynical and
hostile. People who are constantly putting
others down, criticizing everything, and making
cynical comments haven't learned how to
constructively express their anger. Not
surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many
successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means
not just controlling your outward behavior, but
also controlling your internal responses,
taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm
yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these
three techniques work, that's when someone—or
something—is going to get hurt."
Anger Management
The goal of anger management is to reduce both
your emotional feelings and the physiological
arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid
of, or avoid, the things or the people that
enrage you, nor can you change them, but you
can learn to control your reactions.
Are You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the
intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger
you are, and how well you handle it. But
chances are good that if you do have a problem
with anger, you already know it. If you find
yourself acting in ways that seem out of
control and frightening, you might need help
finding better ways to deal with this emotion.
Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a
psychologist who specializes in anger
management, some people really are more
"hotheaded" than others are; they get angry
more easily and more intensely than the average
person does. There are also those who don't
show their anger in loud spectacular ways but
are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily
angered people don't always curse and throw
things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk,
or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have
what some psychologists call a low tolerance
for frustration, meaning simply that they feel
that they should not have to be subjected to
frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They
can't take things in stride, and they're
particularly infuriated if the situation seems
somehow unjust: for example, being corrected
for a minor mistake.
What makes these people this way? A number of
things. One cause may be genetic or
physiological: There is evidence that some
children are born irritable, touchy, and easily
angered, and that these signs are present from
a very early age. Another may be sociocultural.
Anger is often regarded as negative; we're
taught that it's all right to express anxiety,
depression, or other emotions but not to
express anger. As a result, we don't learn how
to handle it or channel it constructively.
Research has also found that family background
plays a role. Typically, people who are easily
angered come from families that are disruptive,
chaotic, and not skilled at emotional
communications.
Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous
myth. Some people use this theory as a license
to hurt others. Research has found that
"letting it rip" with anger actually escalates
anger and aggression and does nothing to help
you (or the person you're angry with) resolve
the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers
your anger, and then to develop strategies to
keep those triggers from tipping you over the
edge.
Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay
Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing
and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry
feelings. There are books and courses that can
teach you relaxation techniques, and once you
learn the techniques, you can call upon them in
any situation. If you are involved in a
relationship where both partners are
hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both
of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing
from your chest won't relax you. Picture your
breath coming up from your "gut."
Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as
"relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself
while breathing deeply.
Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience,
from either your memory or your imagination.
Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can
relax your muscles and make you feel much
calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use
them automatically when you're in a tense
situation.
Cognitive Restructuring
Simply put, this means changing the way you
think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or
speak in highly colorful terms that reflect
their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your
thinking can get very exaggerated and overly
dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with
more rational ones. For instance, instead of
telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's
terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself,
"it's frustrating, and it's understandable that
I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the
world and getting angry is not going to fix it
anyhow."
Be careful of words like "never" or "always"
when talking about yourself or someone else.
"This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're
always forgetting things" are not just
inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel
that your anger is justified and that there's
no way to solve the problem. They also alienate
and humiliate people who might otherwise be
willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going
to fix anything, that it won't make you feel
better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when
it's justified, can quickly become irrational.
So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind
yourself that the world is "not out to get
you," you're just experiencing some of the
rough spots of daily life. Do this each time
you feel anger getting the best of you, and
it'll help you get a more balanced perspective.
Angry people tend to demand things: fairness,
appreciation, agreement, willingness to do
things their way. Everyone wants these things,
and we are all hurt and disappointed when we
don't get them, but angry people demand them,
and when their demands aren't met, their
disappointment becomes anger. As part of their
cognitive restructuring, angry people need to
become aware of their demanding nature and
translate their expectations into desires. In
other words, saying, "I would like" something
is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must
have" something. When you're unable to get what
you want, you will experience the normal
reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but
not anger. Some angry people use this anger as
a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't
mean the hurt goes away.
Problem Solving
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused
by very real and inescapable problems in our
lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often
it's a healthy, natural response to these
difficulties. There is also a cultural belief
that every problem has a solution, and it adds
to our frustration to find out that this isn't
always the case. The best attitude to bring to
such a situation, then, is not to focus on
finding the solution, but rather on how you
handle and face the problem.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the
way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not
to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come
right away. If you can approach it with your
best intentions and efforts and make a serious
attempt to face it head-on, you will be less
likely to lose patience and fall into
all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem
does not get solved right away.
Better Communication
Angry people tend to jump to—and act
on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions
can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do
if you're in a heated discussion is slow down
and think through your responses. Don't say the
first thing that comes into your head, but slow
down and think carefully about what you want to
say. At the same time, listen carefully to what
the other person is saying and take your time
before answering.
Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger.
For instance, you like a certain amount of
freedom and personal space, and your
"significant other" wants more connection and
closeness. If he or she starts complaining
about your activities, don't retaliate by
painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or
an albatross around your neck.
It's natural to get defensive when you're
criticized, but don't fight back. Instead,
listen to what's underlying the words: the
message that this person might feel neglected
and unloved. It may take a lot of patient
questioning on your part, and it may require
some breathing space, but don't let your
anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out
of control. Keeping your cool can keep the
situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Using Humor
"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number
of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a
more balanced perspective. When you get angry
and call someone a name or refer to them in
some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what
that word would literally look like. If you're
at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag"
or a "single-cell life form," for example,
picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba)
sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on
the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever
a name comes into your head about another
person. If you can, draw a picture of what the
actual thing might look like. This will take a
lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can
always be relied on to help unknot a tense
situation.
The underlying message of highly angry people,
Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my
way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are
morally right, that any blocking or changing of
their plans is an unbearable indignity and that
they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe
other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture
yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler,
who owns the streets and stores and office
space, striding alone and having your way in
all situations while others defer to you. The
more detail you can get into your imaginary
scenes, the more chances you have to realize
that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll
also realize how unimportant the things you're
angry about really are. There are two cautions
in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh
off" your problems; rather, use humor to help
yourself face them more constructively. Second,
don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's
just another form of unhealthy anger
expression.
What these techniques have in common is a
refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger
is a serious emotion, but it's often
accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can
make you laugh.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that
give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems
and responsibilities can weigh on you and make
you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have
fallen into and all the people and things that
form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some
"personal time" scheduled for times of the day
that you know are particularly stressful. One
example is the working mother who has a
standing rule that when she comes home from
work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to
Mom unless the house is on fire." After this
brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to
handle demands from her kids without blowing up
at them.
Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight
when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're
tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just
habit—try changing the times when you talk
about important matters so these talks don't
turn into arguments.
Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes
you furious every time you walk by it, shut the
door. Don't make yourself look at what
infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child
should clean up the room so I won't have to be
angry!" That's not the point. The point is to
keep yourself calm.
Finding alternatives: If your daily commute
through traffic leaves you in a state of rage
and frustration, give yourself a project—learn
or map out a different route, one that's less
congested or more scenic. Or find another
alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.
Do You Need Counseling?
If you feel that your anger is really out of
control, if it is having an impact on your
relationships and on important parts of your
life, you might consider counseling to learn
how to handle it better. A psychologist or
other licensed mental health professional can
work with you in developing a range of
techniques for changing your thinking and your
behavior.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell
her or him that you have problems with anger
that you want to work on, and ask about his or
her approach to anger management. Make sure
this isn't only a course of action designed to
"put you in touch with your feelings and
express them"—that may be precisely what your
problem is. With counseling, psychologists say,
a highly angry person can move closer to a
middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks,
depending on the circumstances and the
techniques used.
What About Assertiveness Training?
It's true that angry people need to learn to
become assertive (rather than aggressive), but
most books and courses on developing
assertiveness are aimed at people who don't
feel enough anger. These people are more
passive and acquiescent than the average
person; they tend to let others walk all over
them. That isn't something that most angry
people do. Still, these books can contain some
useful tactics to use in frustrating
situations.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it
wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite
of all your efforts, things will happen that
will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be
justifiable anger. Life will be filled with
frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable
actions of others. You can't change that; but
you can change the way you let such events
affect you. Controlling your angry responses
can keep them from making you even more unhappy
in the long run.
Source: American Psychological
Association
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