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Anger Management Workbook

Anger Busting Workbook

Page 146

The Power To Choose

You have worked very hard in this chapter, but there has been a purpose. We wanted you to take a long, hard look at what you really have in this relationship. We wanted you to take a step out of your old mindset and start to think about is really happening. We wanted you to think a little bit about what it could be like if things started to get better because now you have to look at some hard choices.

We have already told your husband in the section of this book that the more he does what he always did, the more he will get what he always got. The same is true for you. Are you happy with what you have been getting? If not, the only way to get something better is to do something different. But it won't be easy, and nothing we offer here is guaranteed to magically heal a relationship.

Sometimes things are too far gone. Sometime people just quit on you half way through the journey. But more often than you might expect, people will change. People can change if they have to.

The Teeter-totter effect

Remember when you were a kid riding the teeter-totter with someone else? What happened when you suddenly got off the teeter-totter? Bam! They hit the ground hard!

What if you simply shifted positions moved farther up or farther back? The other person had to move, too, in order to keep things in balance. Or they could just quit playing. That choice was always open. It still is.

Right now, you have an opportunity to change the balance on the teeter-totter that is your marriage. If you change your position in some key areas, your husband will have to change, or quit the game. You will never know what you could get until you do something different.

Hard Choices

Below is a set of brief anger scenarios. Each scenario has a suggested response for you.

Simply write yes in the blank after each option you would be willing to choose.

In the middle of an argument, your husband shoves you over the coffee table and on to the floor, injuring your shoulder and breaking the glass table top. You receive scrapes from the glass. Before leaving the room, he threatens to bash your brains in if you mess with him any more. Would you be willing to call 911 and report an assault and a terroristic threat? ______________

The police come. Your husband says it was all a big misunderstanding and wants to apologize. Would you be willing to file charges anyway? ___________

Your husband erupts in a fit of hysterical anger because of the high amount of the electric bill. He accuses you and the kids of wasting electricity and wasting money. This is the third time this week he has jumped on you and the kids. Would you be willing to tell him he must seek counseling immediately for his anger problem or you will take the kids and leave?

At the next anger eruption, would you be willing to take the kids and leave? ____________

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