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Anger Busting Workbook
Page 146
The Power To Choose
You have worked very hard in this chapter,
but there has been a purpose. We wanted you to take
a long, hard look at what you really have in this relationship.
We wanted you to take a step out of your old mindset
and start to think about is really happening. We wanted
you to think a little bit about what it could be like
if things started to get better because now you have
to look at some hard choices.
We have already told your husband in the
section of this book that the more he does what he always
did, the more he will get what he always got. The same
is true for you. Are you happy with what you have been
getting? If not, the only way to get something better
is to do something different. But it won't be easy,
and nothing we offer here is guaranteed to magically
heal a relationship.
Sometimes things are too far gone. Sometime
people just quit on you half way through the journey.
But more often than you might expect, people will change.
People can change if they have to.
The Teeter-totter effect
Remember when you were a kid riding the
teeter-totter with someone else? What happened when
you suddenly got off the teeter-totter? Bam! They hit
the ground hard!
What if you simply shifted positions moved
farther up or farther back? The other person had to
move, too, in order to keep things in balance. Or they
could just quit playing. That choice was always open.
It still is.
Right now, you have an opportunity to
change the balance on the teeter-totter that is your
marriage. If you change your position in some key areas,
your husband will have to change, or quit the game.
You will never know what you could get until you do
something different.
Hard Choices
Below is a set of brief anger scenarios.
Each scenario has a suggested response for you.
Simply write yes in the blank after each
option you would be willing to choose.
In the middle of an argument, your husband
shoves you over the coffee table and on to the floor,
injuring your shoulder and breaking the glass table
top. You receive scrapes from the glass. Before leaving
the room, he threatens to bash your brains in if you
mess with him any more. Would you be willing to call
911 and report an assault and a terroristic threat?
______________
The police come. Your husband says it
was all a big misunderstanding and wants to apologize.
Would you be willing to file charges anyway? ___________
Your husband erupts in a fit of hysterical
anger because of the high amount of the electric bill.
He accuses you and the kids of wasting electricity and
wasting money. This is the third time this week he has
jumped on you and the kids. Would you be willing to
tell him he must seek counseling immediately for his
anger problem or you will take the kids and leave?
At the next anger eruption, would you
be willing to take the kids and leave? ____________
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