Anger Management Workbook

Anger Busting Workbook

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stoke the fire on his anger. If he needs to leave or take a time out, this is not bad. Talk later, when things are safer.

5. If you are going to scream at me, then I am going to scream at you. __________

Another great way to escalate an anger event. Instead, try saying, Please lower your voice. If that doesn't work, simply tell him you won't discuss things if he is going to yell.

6. You are sick and you will never get better. Men like you only get worse over time. _________________

Sadly, this is sometimes true, but it is not always true. And if you truly want to encourage him to try and get better, this is not a good way to start. Give him a copy of this workbook, or give him the name of a counselor. Ask for a trial separation while he works on his anger. Don't tell him he is hopeless. If you believe he really is hopeless, then leave; don't stick around and tell him about it over and over again.

7. How can you say that you love me when you treat me like that? ____________

The problem isn't love, the problem is anger. He doesn't rage because he doesn't love you, he rages because he has an anger addiction. Don't talk about love, talk about getting anger under control. He would much rather fill your head with all sorts of mushy talk about how much he cares for you and how sorry he is, but that is a dead end. Instead, ask him what he is going to do differently so that you don't divorce him.

8. Go ahead and hit me. I know that's what you really want to do. _____________

Maybe you want to show him you are tough and won't be intimidated. But using this phrase could definitely take you places you don't want to go. If you want to shut down his anger, don't say anything at all. Silence in the face of a potential anger incident is the most effective weapon you have.

9. You're crazy. The things you get jealous over make no sense at all.___________

Rageaholics very often do have a problem with jealousy. Deep-seated insecurities and the fear of abandonment make them extremely dependent on the women in their lives which, in turn, leads them to jealousy. He doesn't like it, either. In fact, he even feels a little crazy himself. When you sense that he feels jealous over something, try asking him what you could do to help him get over it. Assure him that you love him and he is the only man for you.

10. THIS IS IT! I am going to divorce you this time. No one is going to talk to me like that. _____________

Sometimes divorce is unavoidable, even necessary. But threatening divorce during an argument is almost certain to add fuel to the fire and make his anger worse. It will not calm him down or bring him to his senses. Instead, call a time out. When he has calmed down, tell him how his angry outburst made you feel and ask him what he intends to do to make it up to you.