Anger Management Workbook
Anger Busting Workbook
Page 188
6. Catch him doing something right. See
if you can overdo compliments in appropriate situations.
Nothing makes a guy feel like King of the World more
than hearing his wife say, “I am so proud of you.
Thank you for all your hard work. I am so glad you are
in my life.” He will try even harder next time.
7. Live in “behavior land,” not “psychology
land.”
The world of psychoanalysis and therapy
is a very subjective, personal environment. Each person
is differentÑdifferent history, different memories,
different emotional needs to meet and wounds to heal.
No one can go there for someone else, and you can’t
take someone there unless they want to go. There is
a time and place for that stuff, but you don’t
need to take your husband there to have a better marriage.
Focus on behavior, not feelings, and focus on now, not
the past.
Tell what you need and ask for what you
want in behavioral terms. What do you want him to do?
Tell him that, and he will already be
on his way to helping to make the marriage better for
both of you.
Practice makes it more likely that you
can do it when you really need to.
Below you will find a series of phrases
that are keyed to the communication principles that
we discussed above. Under each phrase is a set of blanks.
In these blanks, describe the typical situations or
issues in your marriage where these phrases could come
in handy. For example:
“Baby, thanks so much for
your hard work. I am so proud of you.”
Uses:
When he stops himself before getting
angry.
When he goes out of his way to help with
the kids.
When he completes a project around the
house that you have been asking for.
Now it’s your turn.
Strategic Phrase: “Your voice is
getting louder and you are talking mean.”
Uses: ________________________________________________________________________
Strategic Phrase: “I’m sorry,
but I am not going to have this conversation now. Maybe
we can talk about it again tomorrow.”
Uses: ________________________________________________________________________
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