Anger Management Workbook

Anger Busting Workbook

Page 199

The Wins, Slips and Miracles Game

PRETEND: Group leader says, We are all myself included going to pretend that we have an anger problem, although deep down inside, we know that we don't.
SLIPS (in the first column) Group leader says, Now, I am going to write the word SLIPS' in the first column. I want you to provide me with a list of all the ways anyone can express anger.

(Write down what they say. Turn to Chapter One in the workbook if anyone gets stuck. The list doesn't have to be complete; you can add more as you go along.)
If they say being quiet or clamming up for days is a slip, say: Well that is a little tricky.

Actually, for those of us with an anger problem, that is progress. Besides, my goal is to keep you from being arrested again. I have never heard of anyone being arrested for sitting quietly on the couch and refusing to talk. For most of us, that is progress.

WINS (in the second column): Group leader says, The next column is called, WINS.

Let's make a list of things people can do to show they are feeling good, happy or neutral. Something other than expressing their anger, such as smile, give a compliment, leave quietly, agree, apologize, etc. In order to have a win in this game, you must get angry, but not express it.

MIRACLES (in the third column): Group leader says, The third column is called, MIRACLES. When you are in a situation where most people would get angry, and you don't you don't even feel irritated it's a miracle!

Now, here is how it works. I will demonstrate. I will tell of a time in the last week when I got either a little irritated or a lot mad, and expressed it in some way, big or small. That would be a slip. Then I will give an example of a time I got angry and I did not express it. That would be a win.

Therapist: Let's see. I got irritated at Joe for not giving his name, so I did some name-calling by saying his name was Runs-His-Mouth. That was a SLIP.
A win? Let's see. When I turned into the parking lot, someone probably one of youth ought I was taking too long and honked at me. I felt a flash of anger and had the impulse to put on the breaks and shoot them the finger, but instead I sped up a little bit and I did not make any rude gestures. That was a WIN. Okay, Joe your turn.

Joe: What am I supposed to do?

Therapist: Tell us about a time you have gotten angry and didn't express it.

Joe: Well, I was angry about coming here, because I really

Therapist: That's good. Now, how did you express your anger?

Joe: I told my PO that it wasn't fair.

Therapist: Arguing with authority figures I guess we need to add that to the slips column. Now a time when you have been angry and not expressed it?