Anger Management Workbook
Anger Busting Workbook
Page 32
You
Are Angry About Anything
normal conversation and then, I don't
know, Jerry just kind of freaks. Pretty soon he is yelling
and calling me names and …
Jerry: (interrupting) Wait a minute! Why
did you leave out the part where you start whining and
complaining about practically everything under
the sun? Don't try to make this all my fault!
Carla: Honey, I know it is not all your
fault, but you scare me when you start getting
angry. Honestly, I don't know what's going on
with you any more. Why can't you just back off and let
us have a discussion like normal …
Jerry: (Interrupting again - to therapist)
See what I mean! She blames everything on me. (voice
tense and rising) Listen, Carla, when are you going
to learn to stop telling me how to run my life? I have
had just about all of your BS I can stand! (to therapist)
Can't you make her understand that she is driving me
nuts? She never listens to me!
Therapist: Okay, everybody settle down
here. Take a deep breath and let's try to refocus. I
think I have a pretty good picture of what has been
going on. Jerry, when Carla called to set up this appointment
she told me two things: she still loves you, and she
is ready to leave you.
Jerry: Yeah, I know she says that all
the time. It's just one of her games.
Therapist: Actually, Jerry, I get the
definite impression that she is serious, and based on
what I have seen so far, I can't say I blame her. I've
been going over the anger questionnaire you filled
out in the waiting room before you came in, and even
without Carla's input here, it seems clear to me that
you might be a nice guy at heart, but when you are angry
you are probably not a nice guy at all. You may even
be a dangerous guy at times. And it is about to cost
you your marriage. So here is my question for you: Do
you really want to save this marriage and help to make
it better?
Jerry: Hell! Of course I do. Why do you
think I am paying you all this money to sit here and
let you both insult me!
Therapist: A simple yes or no would have
been just fine. I'll take that as a yes. Now, I don't
want to waste your time and I certainly don't want you
wasting my time. If I could tell you something to do
starting right now that would begin to break this cycle
of fighting and blaming, and start you on the
way to having a better marriage, would you be willing
to give it a shot?
Jerry: I don't know, I guess so. As long
as it isn't something girly or ridiculously expensive.
Therapist: No problem there, Jerry. It
is very simple and it won't cost you a dime. What I
want you to do, starting now, and continuing for the
next 90 days, is to stop talking the minute you notice
that you are angry about anything. Jerry, you can break
the cycle of anger and fighting by just learning to
shut up.
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