Anger Management: Overcoming Anger
Under
normal circumstances, anger is a neutral emotion –
it is neither good nor, bad, it just is. Anger happens
automatically whenever we feel threatened by or afraid
of something. Anger only creates problems when it is
expressed inappropriately. Over the years, many people
have been taught that when feeling angry, they should
“let it out.” Sometimes this is okay, but
anyone who suffers from an addiction to anger –
usually referred to as a “rageaholic,” should
do just the opposite. Instead of venting anger, he or
she should abstain from expressing it in any way, because
to do otherwise invites an anger attack that may become
very destructive. Our Anger
Management Classes are designed to teach rageaholics
the best way to control anger and preserve their relationships.
The anger management training we provide to you might
save your marriage … or your life.
It's easy to get hopping mad.
Anything can set off anger -- your spouse forgot to pick up the kids at school,
your co-worker is making life at the office miserable, or your flight to Atlanta
has been cancelled. Of course, worrying, feeling hurt or even recalling unpleasant
memories can also result in anger. In fact, any number of difficulties, both big
and small, can ignite fury.
Certainly,
some people are naturally angrier than others. They're
just born
grumpy. These people have a low tolerance for frustration;
they can't take everyday annoyances in stride. And then
there are people who like their angry side; their rage
makes them feel powerful. "Men feel macho. A Saturday
night doesn't feel right without a good barroom brawl,"
says Michael Schulman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist
who specializes in anger in New York City. "Their
sense of self is connected to their ability to explode."
From
mild irritation to intense rage, anger
increases the heart rate and blood pressure. And
worse, the effects of anger can sometimes be devastating.
People who regularly feel steamed up often suffer physical
problems such as stomach ulcers and heart attack. A
Johns Hopkins study of more than 1,000 physicians reports
that young men who quickly react to stress with anger
were five times more likely than their calmer counterparts
to have an early heart attack even without a family
history of heart disease.
Clearly, anger can take
its toll. So how do you manage
such emotions? While aggression is a natural reaction
to a threat, inappropriate fury can be damaging. Finding
the right response is important. So is it healthier
to express or suppress your feelings? Researchers are
still unsure.
Some people focus on positive things rather than brood over
angry thoughts. The goal is to redirect your emotions into constructive behavior.
While this can be helpful, there are some dangers in this approach.
Redirection can be a form of suppression. If your anger remains a force and
you keep it simmering inside, there is the possibility of serious consequences
such as depression. In addition, unexpressed anger can lead to passive-aggressiveness
-- indirectly putting others down, for instance.
If
you are prone to
internalizing anger, expressing yourself may be
a better path. The key to successful expression is assertiveness,
which is not to be confused with being pushy or demanding.
Making your needs clear without hurting others is a
healthy way to deal with anger. "What kind of relationship
do you want with others?" asks Schulman. "You
need to be clear with how you want to
interact with people; once you're clear, you can
step back and count to ten."
There are a number of ways to keep anger in check. Directing
your emotions in a constructive and positive way can be learned. Here are a
few strategies:
Relaxation can help ease your emotions. Try these methods:
* Deep breathing techniques, such as meditation.
* Exercises such as yoga.
* Visualizing a relaxing
experience, such as walking on the beach.
* Repeating phrases such as "calm down" also helps.
Better communication:
If you are in a fiery discussion, slow down and think about
what you are saying. It also helps to listen to the other person; listening
will help you form a careful response. If you do this, you may even discover
the underlying problem.
Humor:
Lightening
up also eases hot
emotions. If a person is annoying you, imagine that
he isn't wearing clothes. Humor often diffuses intense
confrontations.
Take a break:
Scheduling personal time is important to regain perspective.
Try physical activity such as a brisk walk; writing down your thoughts; talking
to a friend or listening to music.
Coping with angry feelings can be tricky, but now you know how
to stay in control.
By: Lybi Ma
Minneapolis

Anger Management - Know Your
Anger Triggers
Anger
Management Quote
"If you don't program yourself, life will program you."
Les Brown
Suggested Reading:
Everyone's
Guide to Anger
Management (Everyone's Guide To...Mind, Body, Spirit
Series)
by Sylvia Berrill
The Anger Trap : Free
Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
by Les Carter
Overcoming Anger and
Irritability
by William Davies
Keeping Your Cool: The
Anger Management Workbook
by Michael W. Nelson III, A. J. Finch Jr.
Anger
Management (Perspectives on Mental Health)
by Judith Peacock
More Hot Stuff to Help
Kids Chill Out: The Anger and Stress Management Book
by Jerry, Ph.D. Wilde
Real Solution Anger
Management Workbook
by Richard H. Pfeiffer, Richard Pfeiffer
Keeping Your Cool, Part
2: Additional Sessions for the Anger Management Workbook
by Michael W. Nelson III, A. J. Finch Jr.
Breaking Down the Wall
of Anger: Interactive Games and Activities
by Esther Williams
Anger Management: A
Practical Guide
by Adrian Faupel
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