Anger Management Programs - What to Do With Angry Kids?
Dear AngerManagementSeminar.com:
I am extremely concerned about our 9-year old son. Most of the time he is a friendly, normal kid who loves soccer and plays with Legos. However, when gets frustrated or angry about anything, he goes completely over the edge. He screams at everyone, throws things, and becomes completely irrational. Last night he locked himself in his room and wouldn't open the door. These events are becoming more and more frequent and intense. My husband and I are very concerned. Can you help us?
Anxious in Austin
Anger Management Programs - What to Do With Angry Kids?
Dear AngerManagementSeminar.com:
I have a sixteen-year old son who is suddenly getting really out of control. He has been suspended from school twice this year for fighting, and he has become very sullen and uncooperative around the house. Last night, I tried to get him to sit down and do his schoolwork and he shoved me out of the way and stormed out of the house. The school guidance counselor says I need to get him some help. I am a single mom and I really don't know where to turn. Can you help me?
Desperate in Detroit
Dear parents:
I too, am sad and concerned about the number of requests we receive from worried parents looking for answers to help their angry kids. There is no more scary, helpless feeling than to see your friendly, happy-go-lucky youngster gradually transform into an angry, explosive time bomb.
Anger Management Programs - What to Do With Angry Kids?
Unfortunately, the standard anger management programs designed for adults are usually not appropriate for children and teens. For one thing, even though kids seem simple, they are going through complex emotional and psycho-social adjustments that are at least as complex as the ones adults deal with, and sometimes even more complicated. It is truly hard to say with certainty what emotional, psychological, social and organic problems may be triggering the explosive anger events of a child or young teen.
A lot has been written - pro and con - about the increase in diagnosed incidences of ADD and bi-polar disorder in kids these days. Of course, not every kid with behavioral issues is ADD or bi-polar, but it is a possibility that should be investigated. Also, kids - especially at younger ages - store up emotions caused by traumatic events and other losses and gradually convert those emotions into different behaviors over time. Sometimes the length of time between the loss and the angry behavior is such that parents don't always connect the dots.
Anger Management Programs - What to Do With Angry Kids?
Of course, with older kids, sudden angry behavior changes could also be a sign of the beginning of drug abuse or other unhealthy social choices. Also, as kids enter teen years they are more likely to act out angrily over dysfunctional family issues, and if the child has ever been the victim of physical, emotional or sexual abuse (especially if the abuse was hidden from the parents) sudden, irrational anger episodes can begin be the result.
I hope you are beginning to understand my dilemma here. I would love to offer you a simple anger management plan that could help children and teens learn to control abusive outbursts of anger. However, it just wouldn't be wise to recommend a program without having better insight into what the real causes might be. What I would recommend to Austin, Detroit and every other parent who contacts me is that the first thing to do is have your child evaluated by a competent child psychiatrist or a licensed professional therapist who specializes in child/teen issues. With kids, there are just too many moving parts to start a treatment program until you know for sure what is broken.
Anger Management Programs - What to Do With Angry Kids?
One thing is certain: outbursts of irrational or abusive anger, especially if it is acute and progressive in nature, is a sure sign of a series problem. The worst thing to do is ignore it and hope it gets better, or discipline the child in a harsh, judgmental way. Angry kids grow up to be angry adults, and that is when the damage can become even worse, both for themselves and those around them, especially for the children whom they bring into the world. This serious; do whatever it takes to get professional help now.