Anger Problems - Prevention

One dangerous myth about an "anger problem" is that it only involves aggression, abuse, hurting people, or destroying property. Such behaviors are merely the extreme end of the anger spectrum, indicating but one of many kinds of anger problems.

Though we associate extreme behaviors with anger, in reality most of the anger we experience in the course of our lives is unconscious. You are never aware of most of your anger. By the time you do know that you're resentful or angry, it's already in an advanced state, when the techniques taught in anger management programs- "managing" angry feelings and arousal - run the risk of being too little too late.

A more viable target for prevention of anger problems is the subtle types of anger that lie outside anger management programs. Subtle anger forms the undercurrent for the waves of overt anger that cause more infamous acting out behavior like aggression, abuse, etc. Without the chronic, low-grade ebb and flow of subtle anger, there would be very little violence and abuse.

While overt anger makes you act against your anger management programs, subtle anger more often keeps you from doing what is in your best interest.

Examples are quietly putting a chilly wall between you and your loved ones that keeps you from connecting with them and from anger management programs that keep you from feeling compassion. These kinds of behaviors won't get you court-ordered into an anger management class, but they will ruin your life.

One sure sign of an anger management programs, whether hidden or subtle or obvious, is not feeling like all your troubles are the fault of someone else. If it seems that other people are always trying to put you down or push your buttons, you may be a react-aholic, in which case your thoughts, feelings, and behavior are controlled by whomever or whatever you're reacting to at the moment.

The more reactive you are, the more powerless you feel; anger is in many ways a cry of powerlessness. The less reactive you are, the more you can benefit from anger management programs.

Because they involve more subtle than overt anger, preventing anger problems requires a shift in your outlook on life more than anger management programs and angry feelings. You can begin such a shift of outlook by answering the following questions.

Do you want to be reactive to other people, allowing them to push your buttons, make you act against your best interests, and keep you from doing what is in your anger management programs?

Or do you want to behave in your long term anger management programs, regardless of what people say or do? Do you want to be resentful? Or do you want to be compassionate?

The best way to prevent anger problems is to control subtle forms of anger by building anger management programs into your life.

http://compassionpower.com

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