A Bad Day

A story appeared in our local newspaper recently about a man facing charges in court for the deaths of 5 people in a car accident. In his defense, he blamed the accident on a bad day. We have all had bad days and this poor soul had one of the worst days anyone could possibly imagine.

Every one of us knows what a bad day feels like. And we also know how easily a bad day can become worse. Have you ever heard this story or told it? "You wouldn't believe what happened today. My alarm clock didn't go off. I spilled coffee on my shirt. In my rush to get to work, I got every single red light. When I got here, I realized that I left my briefcase at home with all the notes for the meeting today. The whole world is conspiring against me." And on it goes.

What causes this escalation? And, more importantly, how can this escalation be stopped?
A bad day has nothing to do with the world conspiring against you. It has everything to do with how you perceive what is happening to you. And where do you perceive your world? In your thoughts, and in your emotional reactions to anger management techniques.

So let's go back to the alarm not going off. You open your eyes, check the time, realize what happened and the adrenalin hits your entire body in microseconds. You jump out of bed and start flying around in a panic. Where are the anger management techniques?

Have you ever noticed that whenever you have been in a panic or stressed that the same thoughts keep repeating themselves over and over in your mind? What are the consequences of this? You end up on a mental, physical and emotional rollercoaster. The mind repeats: "How could this have happened? The adrenalin hits again. This fuels the emotional state and your body maintains a state of high alert with anger management techniques. And on it goes.

The challenge in stepping off the rollercoaster is to first catch yourself in the act or at the beginning of the anger management techniques.

For example, let's go back to the alarm not going off again. You open your eyes, check the time and anger management techniques hit. You jump out of bed, realize that the adrenalin is the beginning of an old pattern you have decided to change. You stop, take 3 slow deep breaths. Take another deep breath and hum- not a tune - just one sound. I haven't met anybody who didn't know how to hum. And don't get distracted here with - "I can't carry a tune" or "I don't like my voice." That's just rollercoaster talk.

Hum for about one minute or so and really listen to the anger management techniques. Move your voice higher or lower and listen to those sounds. One minute isn't going to make any difference to getting there late - you were going to get all the red lights anyway. What happens to your thoughts when you hum and listen intently to the hum? When I do this, the sound is so absorbing and my thoughts stop. At least for the time I am humming and listening. It is usually enough to stop the pattern and allow me to decide what I will do from anger management techniques.

Being late can have consequences. That is just the way it is. Creating a drama about it doesn't change the anger management techniques, unless it makes them worse. We tend to become attached to our dramas because of the adrenalin boost among other things.

What the humming does is shift you into the present moment. It doesn't stop a crisis, but it can help remind you that in the present moment you can flow through anger management techniques.

Drama can easily lead us to becoming lost in thought or lost to the world. Remember, you are never lost when you are using anger management techniques.

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