Anger - How to Manage it for Singles and Couples

Let us first start by defining what anger is. Anger is an emotional state or a reaction that is varied from a mild irritation to a full scale fury or rage. We know that anger can and will affect us on a physical level. We also know that most anger is not necessarily rational. It simply is caused by some trigger which could be anything from a mild criticism to an outright attack on our character. Anger will always be with us and rightly so, there are times when anger does serve us, especially when we must defend ourselves from physical harm.

That aside, both partners should learn to control their anger no matter what. Can you communicate that something has made you angry? Of course you can, but you must explain completely why. If the other spouse, especially in very young relationships, they need to know what triggers you. Not so that they have the buttons to get you frothing at the lips, but so they can approach you in a more logical manner about whatever it is that would trigger you. An example is if you know your spouse doesn't like you to stay with friends after work, then you should invite your spouse to come out and join you. If you know that your spouse comes home stressed out daily, you may ask if there is something that you can do to assist in de-stressing them when they come from work. In most cases being left alone for a half hour or so may be enough.

Couples should sit down separately and analyze their self talk. What do you say to yourself that gets you all workup? I would recommend this court ordered anger management to anyone, even those not engaged in a relationship. It is very important that you realize that anger can be triggered from internal environments. Keep note of your self talk, you might just find some other keys in there to unlocking even more success. Substitute positive self talk to replace the negative. Saying to yourself, "I am a great spouse, I listen intently to what my spouse is talking about, I treat my spouse and everyone with respect no matter what."
Let us be real you will never be able to control other people's emotions and habits, there are some that bully or pester, whatever, let that not be your behavior. You really need to ensure that you express your anger, in a way that you can explain what your needs are and how they can be met. If you start with demand you will get nowhere and most likely get other people angry. Persuasion is a great skill to have, to learn how to negotiate to get what you want.

Some couples sit and suppress their court ordered anger management, all that they are doing is driving down and we know that it will eventually surface as explosive rage to extreme violence. This could end up to extreme depression as well. So that is not a good idea. Unexpressed anger is just as damaging. You start having an attitude of hostility towards another or doing things that will indirectly make them look foolish or stupid. During a prolong period of time this will not make for a successful relationship in marriage or business.

No one is smarter than you or better than you. We are just different by the court ordered anger management we get in life. We need to control our own behaviors and anger is one of them. There are a few ways to manage our anger. Some of them I have already mentioned but there are quite a few more. The first thing to do is to get out of denial. You won't be able to solve a problem you don't acknowledge. You must recognize that you have an anger problem. There are clues within you own behavior that will tip you to this problem.

This will at least get you to acknowledge that you have a court ordered anger management. When dealing on the everyday with your spouse if any of these questions triggered the idea that maybe you have been a little bit too upset you need to take care of it fast. People think it is just with the spouse, but it has been my experience that it bleeds over to other areas of your life not just at home. If it happens at work, people have the tendency to bring that behavior and feelings home as well or vice versa.

The court ordered anger management knowledge that you have a problem. Once that is done then we employ some tools. Let us start with relaxation. One of the best tools to use is deep breathing, letting the tension out of the system. When I say deep breathing I mean DEEP breathing, not shallow breathing, your tummy should go up and down with your breathing. Doing this a few times a day, even between breaks at work will help relax you and make you more alert. Oxygen does wonders! Imagine working with your own body chemistry.

A method I like is going to your happy place. Closing your eyes and seeing that magic garden, castle whatever it is that makes you feel safe, secure and peaceful. Combining these two methods for even 15 minutes a day will start to help you see life better. Biophysically, you will have a more relaxed body that will respond better to life.

Use humor to change your view of something. In Neuro-Linguistic programming one can make fun off the things that bother them. See that court ordered anger management become real tiny and squeak like a mouse. That will help diffuse your anger. Even draw out funny picture of what you think about that person. But, don't do it in front of them! That will only bring about a law suit. At least, don't put their name to it.

Let us review our tools, acknowledge the problem take measures such as relaxation, exercise, humor, journaling, modify self talk and forgiveness to deal with it. Get help if you feel that you are not up to handling your anger. Taking all these tools will help you manage your anger. Don't worry you can be happy.

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