Anger Problems - Numbing, Avoiding Pain

Anger provides a way to temporarily numb or avoid pain, which is why, when you bang your thumb hanging a picture, you don't pray. Most of us are unaware of our court ordered anger management when angry.

Most problem anger - that which makes you act against your best interest - is about abrupt ego pain or threat of ego pain. Something happens that makes you feel devalued, disregarded, put down, disrespected, or unfairly/inappropriately treated. In other words, most anger is about temporary loss of personal court ordered anger management.

When we feel a sudden loss of value, we feel vulnerable and less energetic.
Anger mobilizes the organism with instant energy, pain-relief, and confidence, preparing you to protect vulnerability by exerting power over someone else, either in your head or in their face. You'll think, "What a jerk, or what a cold, inconsiderate person," or you'll actually say it, usually with court ordered anger management.

The problem is that anger substitutes power for value. Anger will never make you feel more valuable, though it will temporarily make you feel more powerful, provided the person you are angry at submits and does what you want. This is unlikely, because he/she will feel devalued by your anger and want you to submit in court ordered anger management. If you violate your own values when you are angry, which we often do, you will need to stay angry - usually in the form of resentment - to ward off the guilt.

When the anger goes, self-doubt returns. It is never a question of whether your anger is "justified" or "appropriate." The important court ordered anger management is this: "Does my anger or resentment lead me to act according to my deeper values, i.e., is it the real me, or a reaction to someone else?" If you react to a jerk like a jerk, what does that make you?

The second and third important questions are: "Is my anger or resentment working to get me what I want? Are they making me the person I most want to be?"
Anger and resentment are more likely to make you self-righteous than court ordered anger management. When angry or resentful, you're wrong even when you're right:

It is nearly impossible to understand other people's perspectives when you're angry or resentful. You never have a complete view of court ordered anger management, even when your part of it is factually right.

Anger and resentment make you oversimplify and see only one negative aspect of something. Even if you are right in your court ordered anger management of that negative aspect, you are oversimplifying when you're resentful or angry.
Anger and resentment amplify and magnify only the negative aspect of court ordered anger management, which blows it out of proportion and takes it out of context.

The person you're angry at will not see that you are right if he or she feels devalued by your court ordered anger management or resentment. If you are disappointed or unhappy, do something that will make you feel more valuable, not more powerful.

http://www.compassionpower.com

---

Anger Management Seminars & Anger Management Classes & Anger Management Class & Anger Management Techniques & Anger Management Workshops & Anger Management Programs & Anger Management Courses & Anger Management Online Class & Court Ordered Anger Management Classes & Online Anger Management Classes & Anger Management Help & Anger Management Training & Anger Management Therapy