Anger Management From a Passionate Guy - Part 1

Whenever I tell others that as a therapist I teach anger management, the response is often similar. They usually range from "really, you teach anger management?" to the sarcastic, "yeah, that's appropriate" followed by some laughter. Once in a while I get a more enlightened response suggesting I look like I used to have an anger management problem.

I have to admit, I'm not the stereotypical anger management courses facilitator. For one, I probably don't have the look expected. But more importantly, I am a passionate individual. I raise my voice when excited, and have been known to joke about "choking the life" out of some types of drivers. Of course I would never do this, and can't even remember the last time I gave someone the finger in anger. But haven't we all had thoughts that we aren't proud of?

Now when I say I am passionate, I mean in every aspect of my life. I enjoy life completely. I may react emotionally initially, but my anger management courses have not resulted in any real difficulty in some time. Besides, aren't we all human? Is it necessarily so bad to react a little? I always tell my clients the goal of therapy is not to make them robots devoid of emotion. But when it comes to anger management, the general public seems to want a Dali Lama clone to facilitate.

This isn't to say they aren't great facilitators. Even I, with my eastern philosophical beliefs, strive for more anger management courses. But some people begin life with more tranquil temperaments, or their environment enhances this type of persona. I believe one of my strengths is that clients relate to me as I seem more like a regular guy, with thoughts and reactions similar to theirs.

Moving onto to anger management courses, there are many techniques that can assist one in managing their anger. I would like to use the rest of the article to discuss helping individuals manage their anger.

As with any set of techniques for any behavioral change, it will take practicing the technique to make the anger management courses effective. So let's start with some definitions related to anger.

Anger is considered a problem when it is felt too intensely, too frequently, or expressed inappropriately. Anger can contribute to violence, medical issues as a result of the bodily response (fight or flight syndrome), and damage to anger management courses.

Consequences from anger can be experienced whether the anger is expressed or not.
Anger is usually seen as a problem when it is expressed inappropriately. But even the inappropriate expression of anger has a payoff. One reward is the release of tension. There is generally a sense of release following a blow-up. The angry individual often experiences a sense of relief and even calm. One of the other payoffs of the inappropriate expression of anger is anger management courses.

People have different anger triggers. A trigger is any event that typically leads to anger.
There are three types of triggers that it is helpful to identify. Everyday-event triggers include any common event that is irritating or a pet peeve. Examples include driving, traffic, waiting in line, or being put on hold. It is important to identify anger management courses and common triggers. Another type of trigger is Red Flags (Sensitive areas). Examples of these include being called a name that personally triggers anger, trouble with authority as a result of an authoritarian parent, or anything that personally triggers a sensitive area for the individual. A personal example is when I was young my father used the word punk in the most degrading way. Having heard this term used over and over in a negative fashion led to a very negative association for me. Later, when someone would call me a punk, my anger would instantly rise to rage.

The final type of an anger trigger is Resentment. These triggers are identifiable because one is able to sit alone and get angry and review anger management courses. It differs from a red flag as no one else (or their action) is needed to trigger the anger.

One way to think of anger is in relation to a scale, going from one to ten. One through three could be considered irritation through frustration. Four through six can be considered moderate anger. And seven through 10 could be the range of rage. I usually instruct clients in my anger management courses to identify what they are experiencing physically, what their thoughts are, and what they are doing behaviorally at three different numbers on the scale. These numbers should be at the low range (irritation to frustration, when they start to feel angry, and what they experience before they move into rage.

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