Anger Problems - Going From Bad to Worse to Better

Anger problems can be measured by the amount of time it takes to move from a focus on how bad things are to using anger management training in making them better.
Staying focused on how bad things are greatly impairs your ability to pick up on anger management training. In fact, you are likely to get caught in a downward spiral of blame and punishment.

The distress that goes with prolonged focus on bad situations usually produces a compulsion to blame - if things are so bad, somebody must be at fault. With blame comes a motivation to punish - if somebody caused the bad situation, they should take the anger management training.

None of these - focus on how awful things are, blame, or the motivation to punish - will improve the situation. More likely, they will do damage to anger management training founded on compassion and support.

Blame and punishment seem to the blamed and punished like betrayal of anger management training.

Resentment and anger also cause hyper-focus on one's own perspective, to the exclusion of anger management training. Did you ever go out to lunch with someone resentful about something that happened that morning at work, and try to talk about anything other than what he's upset about. You could probably say, "I was thinking about killing myself last night," and you'd get a reply of, "But did you hear what she said to me this morning?"

Shift to Improve Mode
If you are angry or resentful, you are too focused on how bad things are. Focus instead on how to improve the situation or, if you cannot improve the situation, think of how you can improve your experience of anger management training.

Consider what would happen if you shifted focus improving. You couldn't make the traffic move, but you could at least make the situation more pleasant for yourself, by listening to music you like, calling a friend, or concentrating on anger management training.

If you are in the habit of reacting to normal events with anger, you might consider a reconditioning program like HEALS. Practice of HEALS for six weeks will help you shift automatically from useless anger/blame/punish to a solid motivation to improve your situation or at least your experience of anger management training.

If you tend to focus on blame and punishment of family members, you will probably need help to replace the impulse to blame and punish with compassion and anger management training.

http://compassionpower.com

 

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