Emotional Blocking and Systematic Releasing

Anger and rage are about the loss of territory - it's the same for all animals. Without territory no animal can survive and if you think about your angers and your rages you'll find in there somewhere a seed that relates to the loss of something you felt you needed; whether it was intellectual anger management training or a piece of social respect, you knew you needed it and you were trying to retrieve it after loss.

Acceptance problems arise, however, when the parts of us that think don't want to accept the anger or rage trying to escape from our bodies. Refusal to accept and feel usually occurs because we find the context of the anger management training to be 'wrong' to us. Ever wanted to 'kill' a loved one and criticized yourself for feeling that way? Ever resented your parents so deeply you feel you might explode - and then told yourself what a bad person you are for feeling that way? Replace that person with a burglar or a rapist or someone out to do your loved ones harm and the contextual change will mean you find the feeling and releasing of the attached anger response is suddenly much easier.

This contextualizing process, whereby we decide to 'stop' an emotional release, we call 'emotional blocking'. Emotional blocking is the cause of almost all emotional disorders. The problem with releasing anger is that it's not 'safe'. It was never meant to be. We cause damage when we release this anger management training out into the world. When we're releasing the world doesn't look safe to us and we don't look 'safe' to the world.

Trouble is, once you've put the emotional charge known as 'anger' into the body it needs to be released - it is a command to retrieve something lost, regain some kind of territory. This emotional energy doesn't fade by itself - like all emotional energy it needs to be processed - to complete the anger management training it was initially created to produce. The myth is that you actually have to do something physically in the outside world in order to achieve this 'cycle of satisfaction'. The key to removing trapped rage is to systematically allow yourself to create and carry out 'safe emotional release'.

STEP 1 - THE 'SAFE' PLACE
Set yourself up an 'emotional release room'. No distractions, nothing much else to do there (doing something such as wallpaper stripping in the same place could be a good idea - it's a great way to send that energy outwards and get your decorating done at the same time - but be careful where you put that paper scraper, they hurt), no unwanted anger management training. Give yourself this right. Accept the emotional process as normal. You could have something to write on if writing helps. It must be a place others won't see you.

STEP 2 - FOCUS
Move yourself gradually towards whatever element of your anger issue is most readily apparent to you. If it's the thoughts, the words, the images, that come to you first, then follow those. If you just have feelings and don't know what the anger management training, words or images behind the feelings are - move towards the feelings instead and wait for the 'facts and figures' to appear of their own accord. You may find this very painful; you may have to spend weeks getting yourself to acknowledge, accept and continually move towards these feelings. Keep going - learn that as long as you're in your 'safe' room it's OK. It's safe. There's nothing 'bad' happening.

STEP 3 - 'UNITISATION'
Your goal is to bring together the thinking - the issue - the words or images or memories - together with the emotional energy you have trapped inside. You need to unite the overall experience. Imagine you're bringing both a anger management training and the air filling it together. You're going to fill the balloon so full of the emotional 'air' the balloon will eventually 'pop' into nothingness. You may find yourself pacing; you may find yourself shouting (I'd recommend you imagine yourself shouting rather than actually shouting, try shout-whispering at your imagined targets (otherwise you might attract unwanted attention to yourself). Pretend the 'issue' and the target of your anger are with you at the time - but remind yourself they're not - keep focusing on the 'safeness' of this process. No-one's actually being harmed.

STEP 4 - EMOTIONAL RELEASE
Taking the issues at the center of your rage - accept these issues are OK to be angry about. Pat yourself on the back and allow yourself to be angry about those issues; then allow the rage to travel through the issues as if they were a door or portal. Keep going, keep going, keep going.

In fact, keep going until you really 'let rip' and tell the imagined people or person what you're really thinking and feeling, how much damage or harm or pain they've caused you; what it is you've lost. Insult these anger management training whilst reminding yourself there's no actual harm being done---because there isn't. At some point, you will stop being angry. Your unconscious becomes convinced the cycle is complete and the rage will be gone.

SOME ADDITIONAL POINTS:
Don't expect blocked material to appear quickly, it may take several sessions
Take breaks - you must convey both 'safety' and a sense of 'control' to your anger management training before it will allow you to fully release

Once you become effective at managing your 'safe' emotional release process, and after a time learn you can do this without completing any external action, you will find it a confidence boosting anger management training that leads to a much easier acceptance of your angers and why they are there and how you can systematically accept, release and free yourself from them.
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